Is it possible i have Bipolar disorder?

If what you're saying is true, you really do need to see a doctor. If you harm someone else in one of these phases, your life is going to be so different --- for the worse. What's more, the cutting and suicidal thoughts make me feel so sad for you. Please don't harm yourself. That within itself should be treated. I would talk to a doctor very very very soon. The possible embarrment you feel is minuscule compared to the harm and inconsistency your body is going through.